"Wholesome." This should be a word used to describe bread. Not women.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Chocolate Coffee, Gym Ready and Shit- I've Lost My Car Keys

This morning started off on the right foot! I was in it, the swing of things. I got my oldest off to school, got the little ones dressed, fed and ready to go, and pulled my hair back with little objection (from my unruly fro). To top that off, my husband bought me chocolate flavored coffee which was ah-hah-some! It's the little things that count in the morning.

So, I'm bee-bopping along, loving life, headed to warm up ye ole mini van... and my keys are no where to be found. The fact that I am leaving for the gym, on time, and after a week long "break" of taking care of sick kids, binge eating and lounging about with spoon lifting as my main source of exercise is not lost on me. I am frantic. If I don't find the keys my life is OVER. I will have mushy tummy syndrome FOREVER and my children will drive me to crayon eating and window licking.

I never did find those damn keys. I stomped around the house for 10 minutes, swearing and freaking out similar to a tantrum thrown by my three year old in a feverish state the day before. (Mouth like a sailor!) My husband over-heard my demonic possession from the bathroom as he got ready for work. He looked through his coat pockets for my keys (with fear in his heart I'm sure) but alas, no keys.

Still. No. Keys.

It's 1 hour, 1 large peice of chocolate cake and 2 scoops of mud pie ice cream later and still no keys. They must be in a toy box or the abyss crevice of the couch... or something.

I hate that I have such a big mouth and that I just confessed my diet mishap. Are we still calling it a that? A diet?

My Calorie Counter profile doesn't reflect my true calories. I record my breakfast daily and then I pretty much leave it at that. Never second or third breakfast. I have a friend on there who is also a breast feeding mom. We're dieting together. Except I don't really think she gets what "dieting" means. She records what she actually eats and I hate to judge... but people, she goes over her calories. It's sad. Really.

Which reminds me, always be sure to push the "diet button" on the top of your fast food drink cup. This cancels out any sugar content (in case you were unaware of that little trick).

So, we are house-bound today. I have a Jillian Micheals dvd, some weights and a bad attitude. It's not that she doesn't give you a good workout, it's actually a pretty good exercise dvd. It's her that I don't like. I don't really like her "best girls" that much either. Doing her tape makes me want to put the actual effort into getting a still-frame shot of her face, just so that I can mustache her with a sharpie.

On a better, totally off the subject of my craptastic morning note, I will be fostering a puppy in a few weeks! He's a hound mix I think. A rescue mutt. Right now he's with his mom, still nursing. I can't wait to have a puppy around here. They're so cute and funny. I'm not thrilled with the clean up but at least it's little poops and I don't have carpet. I told my friend who's bringing me the little guy, "name hime before you bring him here." Everything we name ourselves, we end up keeping. I'm in 2 foster dogs and 2 foster cats... let alone all the ones I've kept on purpose!

My animal count is 6 cats, 3 dogs, 5 chickens, a parakeet and an african grey. I had more, but we couldn't keep up with the expense of our rescued farm animals. They went to a good friend who owns and animal sanctuary :) 

Ok, Jillian, we've put this off long enough. Jiggle that unrecorded cake out of me.

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